Beautiful photo, lots of memories. It was taken about a year ago at Harmony Stables around July 2012 – the heart of winter on the highveld. I’m having a chat with my little one while rounding up the horses for an outride. For her tenth birthday we took her and a few of her friends to the farm to play with the horses for the weekend and just rough it up in general. They had a ball of a time.
Me, well, I rode “Oupa” on the outride. He is a big but gentle fellow, able to carry my extra kilos without effort. I loved the outride. It gave me time to reflect on so many things that were happening at the time. I heard the hooves on the stones, I smelled the grass, and I wasn’t really watching where we were going. For a long time I let Oupa do what he does best – find his own way.
I’ve come a long way since then. If I thought things couldn’t get worse, I was wrong. The last year was brutal and it has seen a major escalation in the noise levels. I needed to rest last year to prepare me for the new onslaught, and Oupa afforded me that opportunity. Now, nearly a year later, Its time to reassess if the road I’ve chosen is the right one.
So today I stumble across this incredible blog by an incredible lady, Tanya Geisler, on her blog Tanya Geisler – Your Best Path Forward [click here to view her blog]. If ever there was a case of The Message Will Appear When The Student Is Ready, this was it. I am so looking for answers, begging for direction. I’m searching for somebody to give me strategic direction because I have run out of ideas completely and I don’t know what to do next. My confidence is at the lowest level ever. I want to give up, I no longer know if I am doing the right things.
And she answers with the words: “lower your head and trust that you know your best way forward”. Trust your feet. Trust your instinct. Trust yourself. Nobody knows the situation better than you. Trust your own strength.
My goodness, I am the one that knows the way, and I’m asking other people to show me! Crazy!
I am scared though. I am scared that I am going to cause more damage. I am scared that I will take unnecessary risks. I am scared that I will hurt the very people I want to protect. I am scared that I will hurt the people closest to me, the ones I love the most.
I also know that I am not home yet. I have to continue. But for how long still? Over lunch somebody whose opinion I trust a lot asked me a blind question: “When will you stop?” I don’t know. I will have to trust my feet. I will now when I enter the sunshine again.
Spiritually, in fact, we probably placed ourselves in this position because we wanted the Universe to teach us the lesson, we wanted to learn to deal with the issues and make it our own.
And once the rocky and difficult bits are over, we will enter the gorgeous clearing and step into the sunshine. Just trust your feet and your heart.
P.S. I also read some of her other posts, like “I am a Force of Nature. Even when I feel anything but. You are too”. It is all good stuff.
Funny how the Universe sends us messages sometimes.
Chatting over a cup of coffee at work this morning, out of the blue, comes this comment: “We only notice the signs that matter to us”.
Frump. It hangs in the air for me to digest.
I often write about how Life feels like I’m traveling down the road of Life, and it offers me opportunities (by showing me signs) to get off the freeway or continue straight or watch out for roadworks or speed limits or whatever. Seems logical, right? And we can listen to the signs or ignore them.
But what I didn’t expect is that we are sometimes blinded by our internal processes. We only see what we want to see. This is not a big discovery, I know we do it in so many other ways and places. But to see it in the context of that people choose which signs they see is a new discovery.
We see what we want to see.
I always (naively) believed the signs were immutable, firm, the same for everyone else. Now, I have to concede that maybe they are not. They vary, and we will each only see what we choose to see at that moment. Our reality is what we create.
What do you think?
Yesterday we held the annual birthday party for Leon and everybody was there except Tiffiny.
We didn’t know what to do as the weather can be so cranky sometimes. So we decided to keep it home and do a buffet with everybody contributing.
Robby baked some breads (Bianca’s recipe). Vince brought some Thai Chicken Strips (as a young bachelor I think I know where he purchased that). Amy did a chocolate cake with a candle and a lemon tart. Tracey and Martin brought a Malva Pudding – my favourite. Ryno and Pria supplied the Chinese Noodles for the hungry. Paul and Lucia made sure the chocoholics were catered for with a choc-marshmallow dessert. Tony and Judy waved the Italian flag with a pasta and there wasn’t much left in the dish. Felicity cooked some Moroccan that was as tasty as you can get. And Andre and Bernie made my favourite Baklava – I’m going to have to gym for a month just to get rid of all the calories guys.
As always it was a noisy and busy afternoon and everybody talked to everybody – just the way it should be. We missed Tiffiny a lot though.
I’m thanking the Universe for blessing me with a crazy family that can still hold a birthday party to remember, and the only things that gets hurt is the overflowing rubbish bin – I counted 40 bottles (ok, some were beer bottles).
I wonder why my body is stiff today?
Gretha Wiid gaan op Vrydag 16 Augustus 2013 by die NG Lynnwoodrif Gemeente ‘n draai maak. Die eerste gesprek gaan oor Die hart van ‘n pa – wees ‘n pa wat ‘n verskil wil maak.
Laat my dink aan die grappie: Die seuntjie vra vir sy pa: “Wat presies is ‘n man?” Dadelik gereed, antwoord die pa: “‘n Man is die baas en die hoof van die huis. Hy is die een wat verantwoordelikheid neem vir die gesin en omsien na almal se belange”. Die seuntjie antwoord: “Sjoe, ek hoop dan ek is eendag so ‘n goeie man soos mamma!”
Greta kry baie kommentaar op haar facebook. Sy sê van die 16de: Wonde in ons kindertyd bring so maklik sonde in ons volwasse tyd. Ek bid dat die Here ons wysheid sal gee om ons kinders se wonde raak te sien, dat ons sal kies om ‘n instrument van genesing te wees, en ook dat ons met elke woord, drukkie, luister of stukkie tyd wat ons aan hulle gee, sal besef…wonde bring maklik sonde….en ons sonde veroorsaak maklik weer later wonde.
Ek kies om my los te maak van hierdie bose kringloop. ‘Like’ as jy saam met my staan in die gees en ook bid dat die Here jou wysheid sal gee om jou kinders en geliefdes se wonde raak te sien en deel van hulle genesing te wees. Share en wees dalk vandag saammet my potensiële olie in iemand se wond.
Amen. Hierdie blog is van sy insepsie op daardie boodskap gemik.