Why did you break my heart?
You may have noticed I often write about women divorcing, leaving or cheating. Its my world, its my experience, its my life, its what I understand.
So it comes as no surprise that as I was skimming the cutest of articles (A Letter to my brand new teenager [click here]) that the following line jumped out at me:
9. Try not to hate anybody. Just forget them. You can bet they aren’t thinking about YOU. You will run across people without a conscience. They broke your heart and moved on. Why? Because they literally do not have the capacity to feel anything except their own needs and desires.
Oh wow. Previously I wrote that I can forgive but never forget [click here], that I will always be reminded of and cannot forget the hurt [click here]. At that time I was desperately seeking answers to life’s big questions. Why? How could they do this? How can they turn their backs on love, laughter, children, family, friends?
And the answer is deceptively obvious. It lies in the shadow of one of my Life Pillars [click here]: I am what I am. And you are what you are. God made you like you are, and He made me what I am. So, we are different. So what? It is OK to be different isn’t it? I expect people to accept me as I am, and maybe I should accept them as they are.
Yes, once upon a time long long ago she said she loved you. The fairy tale is in your head, not in hers. Maybe she event meant it – in a moment of passion. But she isn’t thinking about you any more. While you may have a conscience, it doesn’t automatically follow that she has one. She was probably so busy with her new boyfriend that she didn’t even hear your heart shattering on the ground when she broke it.
Don’t waste time trying to change her. The way God made her is is to leave out some pieces, like He didn’t give her the capacity to feel anything except her own needs and desires. In His wisdom He created a person unlike you. You cannot change that, it is the way she is.
If forgetting means “Don’t waste time changing her”, I can easily accept it.
If forgiving means accepting her for the different person she is with her own imperfections, I can also accept it. (I am not perfect either).
And if you didn’t notice that you broke my heart, that is also OK.
In His great wisdom there was another woman who needed me more. I just had to give up on chasing a non-existent dream and look at what was standing right next to me.
September 24th, 2011 at 4:19 am
Much appreciated for the information and share!
Nancy
October 17th, 2011 at 4:36 am
His “affair”is a pain in your heart foreverAffair eventsAlthough the pieces of your heart,Although you love him, he does not value you,Although you pay so much, but did not return, [not sure this makes sense – ed]