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The Worst Divorce Possible

Sharing is CaringMonday Morning. The coffee has passed my lips but hasn’t kicked yet. The long weekend’s mail is busy downloading in the background and to pass the time I open a few of my favourite news channels to see what happened over the weekend.

So I see this picture and I burst a whole mouthful of fresh sticky coffee over my computer from laughter. It says:

Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else, because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate. (girlfromparis | tumblr – thank you for the laugh!)

Yeah. While cleaning up the mess I reminisced that it wasn’t always this funny. Years ago I was hurting. It’s true though – time brings healing, and the ability to laugh at yourself and perhaps share some of the lessons with the less fortunate who still have to walk the road.

Which brings me to the real subject of today’s writing, and that is a short dissertation on News24 by Bertus Preller called “How to Have the Worst Divorce Possible [Click Here]” where he gives a little bit of advice to the newbies who are still going through the process. He seems to have some experience in this field because he mentions some of the things I discovered myself. Like, Ingredient 1: Hire a bad-ass lawyer.

In my case the Universe presented me with two options. Number_One – a very aggressive (and successful) lady lawyer that told me I was right and that she would fight for me and destroy my ex with false accusations and protection orders and stalling tactics to tire my ex out. Number_Two – a lawyer who always gave me a balanced view, often times not agreeing with my anger-stoked belligerent instructions. Today I experience the benefits of choosing Number_Two, although at that time I think I was more scared of Karma than anything else. Oh yes, I also forgot that Number_One wanted a deposit that far exceeded the bond on my house.

You may want to read the rest of the ingredients and digest them. I know it is hard when you are in the middle of the hurt and pain to be reasonable. But remember, 10, 15, 20 years later you want to look back and know that you did the right things. You want to walk your daughter down the aisle when she gets married, you want to have the first dance with her where all her (not your) friends and family from both sides can admire her beauty. You want to cheer your son when he excels at his sport and he can look to the stadium to find the supporting faces of his mother and his father. Don’t let your conflict destroy his moment of pride.

End your marriage, yes, but please don’t destroy children and families in the process.

P.S. just in case it wasn’t clear, I’m talking to both parents. If you are right and the other parent doesn’t agree, you are not right. You are simply blinded by your own self-righteousness.

P.P.S. Let me make it even clearer: One day you will look back at what you did. Or your children will look back at what you did. Or the new love in your life will look back at what you did. Doesn’t matter. The point of today’s message is: Will you allow yourself to heal and start loving again, or are you going to keep a corner of your heart reserved for hatred and anger? Just remember: The two are not friends and cannot exist together.

Comments are, as always, welcome!

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Hello! Welcome to Leon's world of pain and laughter, a tear and a smile. Please feel free to share your own by commenting. See you back soon! Or chat to me on the airwaves, my callsign is ZR6LU Instagram

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