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When you earn less than she does

Money and MarriageIt seems like I keep on coming back to this topic, previously I wrote about it [click here] and [click here] and then obliquely in some other posts about Toxic Mothers and Cougars. Yes, the big “M” – money. Money in Marriage.

Today’s thought was prompted by the article in the latest (October/November 2010) copy of Psychologies magazine [click here] entitled “When you earn more than him” and their reference to the book by HarperCollins publishers “For Richer or Poorer – Keeping Your Marriage Happy When She’s Making More Money [click here]“.

Essentially they are looking at the more positive aspects of it. They point out some of the things you can do before it becomes a crisis, to perhaps avoid the money-issue becoming a marriage-breaker. The message from Psychologies is: Don’t look at how much money you provide, rather look at how much value you provide. I like that idea.

But the more I think about it, I am still convinced that this advice will only work if the two people in the marriage are both committed to making it work. When the wife earns the money, and she decides that she wants out for a younger and better model,┬ánothing is going to make her stay. Women are devious in that way. More talking is just going to irritate her, and make her stalk the “oppressor” with all sorts of crappy complaints like “you don’t answer the phone correctly” and “why don’t you find a job” until she has enough good reasons to “fire” you. I’m talking to the men here in case you didn’t notice. As I said before, I am a man and the only experience I can talk from is the man’s point of view.

So we are back to the basics of marriage. Does Money support a Marriage, or does a Marriage support a temporary Money problem? I recall “for richer or poorer” somewhere in the Christian marriage vows. I don’t believe the money is always the real issue. If you value your marriage, you will find ways to honour your commitment. But if you feel nothing for your Covenant with God and you forget your Promises in front of your friends and family, well … I’m sure you will find all the reasons in the world why your decision to dump your once-so-much-loved-but-now-finished lover and partner. And sometimes Daddy.

If you have similar experiences, please share by commenting.

 

One Response to “When you earn less than she does”

  1. The Cougar Is Alive « Leon's Random Ramblings Says:

    […]       « When you earn less than she does Domestic Time Share » The Cougar Is […]

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