Leon's Random Ramblings

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Death by the numbers

How LongThe “experts” tells us it takes 2 years to get over anything – death, divorce or disaster. The say no more, it should take less but that is the maximum allowed. A mere 700 days before you must move on?

The “experts” are wrong. Very wrong. Go thank them for being the insensitive bastards that they are.

It takes 5 years, 8 months and 14 days.

Thats only 2084 days. Or 2084 night times that I cried myself asleep into my pillow.

That’s 50016 hours where I promised myself that if I can just get through the next hour I might be ok. The longest hours are when you lie awake at night, but trust me that an hour at work while trying to cope with life’s other challenges can be just as long.

And that is 180,057,600 times that my heart didn’t want to beat, times that it was forced to beat by some stupid primordial cerebellum that insisted I should survive for who-knows-whatever reason I certainly didn’t understand. How can your heart beat if it was ripped from your chest and thrown to the pigs while still beating?

It is roughly 3 million minutes where time stood still, like when the moon blocks out the sunshine and everything is dark

For every breath that I took, maybe 12 or 15 million of them, there was a moment where the pain was too much.

I suppose every person is different and every situation has its own merits. Maybe you can complete the journey in less, maybe you need more time. The only comment I can make is that you will know when the journey is over. You will know when you are through it, when you’ve reached the other side. For some people it will be quick, for other people it might take longer. Take your time and just keep on walking step by step.

For when it is over and you can put the load down, it opens you for some new experiences, and the Universe might reward you with something really awesome that made the journey worth while.

3 Responses to “Death by the numbers”

  1. Jo Says:

    Indeed. You will know and I can guarantee you it’s a good feeling.

  2. name not published Says:

    “Beware lest in your anxiety to avoid war you obtain a master.” by Demosthenes

  3. name not published Says:

    The only comment I can make is that you will know when the journey is over. Take your time and just keep on walking step by step.


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November 2021

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