Toxic Mothers
It should not hurt to be a child.
Following my previous post on Toxic Wives [click here] I think I am going to coin a new phrase: Toxic Moms. Women who display Hostile Passive-Aggressive Parenting.
Today’s post is a shameless copy of all the stuff I saw on YouTube while searching for answers to my little one’s pain and what I can tell her. Here are some of the phrases I copied, word-for-word, no interpretations added:
[Toxic Moms] are committing the ultimate hate crime. Every day.
Is it possible for a loving, capable parent to be alienated from his child? Yes. All a mom has to do is to slowly infuse her hatred for the dad into the child.
6 Days a month is not meaningful contact.
Thanks for always walking away when mom shouts at you.
Why is mom divorcing “us”, what have you done? Are you dangerous?
Dad I have to remember what we ate for dinner last night otherwise mom is going to tell the judge she doesn’t think you fed me.
Mom says she is going to court to protect “us” … from what?
Dad when I miss you it hurts inside.
Mom says we are not allowed to talk about you and she threw your pictures away, is she going to throw me away too?
Mom says I am too small to remember when you were mean to her.
Children don’t have a way to express their pain and confusion.
Who will heal the children hurt by this hate?
Are YOUR children safe from this form of brainwashing?
These parents are sociopaths, whose only purpose in a divorce is to win by domination.
The children are the real victims.
“Parental Alienation is about parents who place their own selfish needs above those of their defenseless children and in doing so, they deny them their right to love and be loved by both parents.” Dr. Reena Sommer
No matter how you “ration-lies” it, subtly suggesting to a child that the “other” parent is “wrong” – children should never have to choose one parent over the other – it is their right to experience the full love of both parents, not limited by the mother’s opinion.
Teaching a child to hate a parent, is to teach them to hate a piece of themselves, to teach them not to have a full relationship with the other parent because YOU don’t want a full relationship, is all about YOU, selfish YOU.
There are support systems and [click here] is a link to one such website
I had no idea what a “targeted parent” or “alienating parent” was, or that PAS even existed. I have since come to find out that these tactics can be very common in divorce and child custody cases.
Lets call it for what it is: CHILD ABUSE
August 26th, 2010 at 12:29 am
Where did you learn about this? Can you give me the reference?
August 26th, 2010 at 10:05 am
I was scanning something else about this on another blog. Interesting. Your perspective on it is diametrically opposed to what I read to begin with. I am still reflecting over the opposite points of view, but I’m leaning to a great extent toward yours. [edited for brevity]
August 30th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Another name for this behavior is parental alienation — when one parent damages, and in some cases destroys, a child’s normal healthy relationship with the child’s other parent.
Just fyi, both Moms and Dads engage in this destructive and emotionally abusive behavior. Sadly, neither parent is immune from the emotional issues that causes a parent to pull a child into the adult conflict and force the child to choose sides.
Sincerely,
mike jeffries
Author, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation
September 2nd, 2010 at 6:37 pm
Thank you Mike. Yes, I realise (and I have seen) that both male or female parents indulge in this behaviour. However, I generally choose to write about it from my own (male) perspective because I have noticed that there is a lot of support and understanding for the female point of view … and very little support for dads. Especially in our Courts Of Law. And I can only really comment about my own personal experience.
You are right about once thing though: It is destructive to the little ones, no matter who does it.
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September 22nd, 2010 at 8:12 am
Things like custody issues should be settle in a court room in front of a judge [edited for brevity]
September 29th, 2010 at 7:16 am
Maybe. Where a child is involved, open discussion between two adults is still the best.
However, when one adult acts like a child, maybe punishment in front of a judge is appropriate.
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