Leon's Random Ramblings

Musings and scribbles from a Cougar Divorce Survivor while watching his little one grow up

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If we only have one more day

Open GraveI should not write this post. Not now. Not ever. But the subject is so important that I cannot ignore the cry, the appeal for one more day. So please excuse the tears on my keyboard. I cannot ignore this any longer.

A week or two ago I read the book “for one more day [click here]” by Mitch Albom. The book’s theme is mortality: It analyzes how people might react to the chance to have a dead relative back for a day. It tells the the story of Charley “Chick” Benetto, a former baseball player who encounters myriad problems with his career, finances, family and alcohol abuse. This leads him to become suicidal, and he leaps from a water tower in an attempt to end his life. After falling to the ground Benetto looks up – his suicide attempt an apparent failure – to see his mother, who had died eight years prior.

Benetto returns to his old family home, and spends one more day with his mother, wherein a number of previously unknown factors related to his difficult childhood and troubled relationship with his father are revealed to him. His mother assists him in resolving his issues and getting his life back on track. The day ends when Benetto regains consciousness at the foot of the water tower, in the arms of a police officer.

But that is not the real story.

Let me ask: Divorced Moms, you that hate your Ex’s with a passion and use every opportunity to tell everybody within earshot who is willing to listen, yes you, have you EVER thought what you would do if today, right now, you were told that your (plural) child has only one more day to live.

Have you?

Are you going to give your Ex his share of the Divorce Settlement and say it wasn’t his day to exercise his visitation rights? Or are you going to be generous and give him some of “your” precious time as long as the newspapers spell your name correctly? Are you going to go 50/50 maybe even?

Harriet Beecher Stowe said “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.“. No parent (divorced or not) have ever stood next to the grave of a child untouched by words unsaid. And I think conversely, divorced mom’s who have never stood next to a child’s grave will even begin to understand the depth of a father’s grief.

Please read what other people said [click here] (definitely!) and [click here] (near the end) – they are awesome writers.

So, Moms, are you ready to face the consequences of your deeds? An unknown author said “What would you do if I died tomorrow? Always remember the last thing you say to people each day.” What if your precious little one died tomorrow? Will you be able to say you did the best for the little one? Or did you do the best for selfish you?

I am a daddy, I think like a daddy, I do like a daddy. I love my little one 100%, not 50%, but I have to share her less than 50%. And I can live with it, as long as she is happy.

But I still wonder what would happen if I was told that she has only one more day to live.

I grabbed the verse from the song from Immortal Technique’s “You Never Know.”

Hold the person that you love closely if they’re next to you,
The one you love, not the person that’ll simply have sex with you.
Appreciate them to the fullest extent, and then beyond
‘Cause you never really know what you got, until it’s gone.

Enough said.

 

2 Responses to “If we only have one more day”

  1. name witheld Says:

    Very helpful. I like the way you write. Do you currently have an RSS feed?

  2. Mehow Says:

    Tweeted this…

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